7 Simple Ways To Practice Intentional Parenting And Raise Mindful Kids

When I use the phrase “intentional parenting,” I’m not advocating for any particular religion or lifestyle.

Instead, I’m suggesting small, significant actions encouraging mindful growth in our kids.

What makes raising children as humans so different from any other species is that we raise them to do more than survive – we raise them to think.

It’s a tricky process teaching through the hormones, emotions, and various stages of reasoning and comprehension that our kids go through.

It’s not that you should strive to be a certain type of parent to raise kids “the right way” – as if there is a “right way”.

However, our kids must learn to be mindful and understanding, especially in today’s social landscape.

Intentional parenting AND living are great gifts and abilities we have as humans, and they can lead to great change in our lives and the world. In that spirit, I’m sharing 7 ways that I try to use intentional parenting with my kiddos; Maybe there’s something in here that resonates with you as well.

Intentional Parenting Is All About The ‘Why’

The brain likes reasons – it wants to know why.

This is especially true of the young brain, as I’m sure you’ve noticed if you’ve ever had a 6 or 7-year-old.

The brain needs reasons, so if you don’t explain why things are a certain way, your child’s brain will create its reasoning – which can be wildly inaccurate.

Sometimes the explanations they come up with are cute and imaginative, but other times they can be detrimental.

These inaccurate beliefs developed in childhood can actually lead to phobias and social hiccups later on.

In a PBS article, they emphasized the power of kids asking questions and adults answering them, saying:

"In responding to their questions, as well as encouraging them to ask them, we play an important role in sparking curiosity in kids about their world."

Katie Carpenter – PBS

I’ve found that I expect everyone else to understand why I do the things I do. And I expect them to understand why I ask them to do certain things.

To me, everything I do is obvious.

But I’ve noticed over time that everyone is not always on the same page. What’s obvious to me isn’t obvious to someone else who doesn’t share my brain.

So, I make it a habit to give my reasoning along the way so there is no confusion.

1. Also, Ask ‘Why’ … Frequently

Asking your kids ‘why’ questions makes them consider their decisions instead of acting on autopilot. This is the whole basis of intentional parenting.

When your kid decides to place all the dishes in the dishwasher right-side-up, don’t growl in frustration that they’re doing it wrong.

Instead, try asking why they did it that way. Make them practice working through their actions. They’ll be less likely to mess up next time if they problem-solve themselves.

I’ve made a practice of doing this with myself frequently.

When I feel frustrated about something, I almost immediately ask myself why I feel that way.

This helps me place the reality of the situation above my emotional storm. I try to teach this organically to my kids because it’s helped me through so many difficult situations.

2. Introduce Schedules And Duties

To be honest, I’ve never been great at schedules.

Something in me can’t stand being perfectly glued to a schedule. So, I either zoom through tasks so I can feel accomplished by being done or, the majority of the time, I end up late.

This isn’t something I love about myself, so I try to make my kids work with schedules.

Schedules help you to be more intentional. When you have a schedule, you are dedicating your time to certain tasks, which is actually a great way to increase productivity.

Dedicating time is an intentional action.

I’m also big on encouraging my kids to do anything they can do themselves.

Duties invoke responsibility and empathy. Someone who’s never done a load of dishes is less likely to be conscious of their dish mess.

They’re also less likely to appreciate others doing dishes for them.

3. Create A Savings System

Reckless money habits have been a huge detriment to my generation.

To be intentional with their money, your kids must have some hands-on practice.

When we started an allowance with my kids, they would blow those few bucks on anything.

They couldn’t stand holding onto the money. I felt bad forcing them to save their allowance for a bigger goal, but it wasn’t about me.

They’ll never have the incentive if they don’t experience the payoff of saving for something big and achieving that goal.

Once they’ve accomplished this a few times, they’ll know they are capable.

4. Introduce Social Issues That May Be Uncomfortable

If you’re reading this article, you’re probably already practicing intentional parenting, but the types of intentions matter too.

While teaching kids to be critical thinkers, we also need to weave in empathy and understanding.

Instead of detouring around the areas in your town with a high concentration of homeless people, take the uncomfortable path and answer the hard questions as honestly as possible.

Try not to let any personal bias (good or bad) get in the way.

This is just a small example but, in general, balanced and truthful information is the best way to bring future changes – changes that will be at the discretion of future generations.

5. Give Natural Consequences A Try

We want what’s best for our kids, and, in many cases, we know what’s best for them.

We see the danger signs and want them to know what we know and accept our cocoon of protection.

But kids can be pretty headstrong.

Sometimes it isn’t helpful to force good decisions because natural consequences stick much better. That’s because they work internally as opposed to externally.

My oldest insisted on going to school without her jacket a while back.

 We live in Portland, where it rains ALL winter and gets pretty cold. So, of course, I explained why she should wear her jacket.

She’s my headstrong kid, so this could have easily become a dominant battle.

Instead, I let natural consequences take their course.

Yep, she was cold and uncomfortable.

So, she wore her jacket the next day without my coaxing.

Allowing natural consequences (when it’s safe) is important for kids to develop their intention. They can’t forever live on your sage wisdom. Intentional parenting includes letting kids learn what their intentions are.

6. Require Decisions Of Your Kids

This is one way that minimalism benefits kids.

It requires them to make decisions about their belongings consistently. But even if you aren’t adopting a minimalist lifestyle, requiring decision-making from your kids regularly is a fundamental part of intentional parenting.

Decision-making builds confidence and becomes easier with practice.

I call it flexing your decision-making muscle.

Making every decision for your kids is detrimental to their ability to make future decisions. They need the practice to build their confidence in their decision-making abilities.

7. Teach Mindfulness

Unless you’re really into meditation or yoga, you might not be entirely sure what ‘mindfulness’ even means.

In a nutshell, mindfulness is the practice of being in the present.

Here’s an example: 

You’re sitting at a table holding a steaming cup of hot coffee in a smooth coffee mug. You hear the clock ticking in the next room and the heavy wind outside. You feel relaxed and cozy.

It sounds easy, right?

But being present is not the default mental state for most people. We think about the past, the future, and the stressors.

The coffee mug reminds us of the store where we purchased it … which reminds us of something else we recently purchased at that store that needs to be returned … which reminds us of our bank statement … which spikes a moment of stress … and so on.

Before you know it, you’re stressed and balancing your checkbook.

Mindfulness pulls us out of our worried or distracted states. This practice is used in child therapy to control anger, temper tantrums, and fear.

It’s a wonderful human superpower, and teaching is a great way to empower your kids.

It allows them to be fully intentional with their emotions, thoughts, and time.

One way to increase mindfulness is to incorporate intentional living spaces. This gives each space a focused purpose.

Conclusion

Practicing intentional parenting is a worthwhile challenge, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Hopefully, these strategies help.